Say this about Montrealers: they do not take lightly
the men and women who broadcast their sports. Two weeks ago, in a highly
* unscientific 10-question poll, I asked readers what they thought of Montreal's
sportscasters. Who does their job with unflagging professionalism, regardless of the flak
they might catch if they don't cheerlead the teams they cover - or whose games their
station might pay to broadcast? Who sounds like fingernails on a blackboard, like someone
whose wardrobe was a gift from the club they shamelessly tell you can do no wrong?
I left town on business a few days after the poll was published,
and during my week away I was overcome with anxiety that the whole exercise would be
greeted by apathy. Instead, I was deluged by your ballots - by mail, E-mail, and fax.
Nearly 200 Montrealers responded, an impressive entry considering
my request that you give some thought to your answers before then putting pen to paper or
digits to keyboard.
Some replied with a tidy list of 10 names, some with a supporting
sentence or two, and many more with compassion and wit that filled two, three, four or
more pages. (To the teachers whose students surreptitiously participated in the poll
during class, I apologize. Then again, you would be proud of some of these looseleaf
compositions.)
Steve Walker of LaSalle prefaced his votes by telling me he's 71
and steeped in Montreal sports since 1933, when the privilege was given to me of being
taken down to Delorimier Stadium by Montreal Royals first baseman 'Snake' Henry, who
boarded with his southern-belle wife next to our family on Jeanne Mance St.''
I received E-mail from dozens via The Gazette's Web page, including expatriate Montrealers
who today live in Australia, Mexico City, Oklahoma, Ohio, New York, Indiana, and various
Ontario outposts. The writers recalled this city's broadcast voices of the past, and
wondered whether their favourites remain here. (Alas, too many have taken their talents
elsewhere.)
And I heard from Laury Gossack
of Hampstead, who not only answered the questions, but also critiqued The Gazette's new
look and, over five Hilroy pages, graded every English sportscaster in the city, giving
each an over-all mark and quite subjectively listing their strengths and weaknesses. (Go
to the head of the class, Dick Irvin, you're Laury's only A+.)
My idea was to get a detailed look at your listening and viewing
preferences. The headline of the column a fortnight ago asked, "Who is your favourite
broadcaster?''
But since that question wasn't specifically part of the poll, I
have not tallied the letters that championed only one voice without addressing Questions 1
through 10. I had no choice, therefore, but to discard the well-intentioned campaign
trumpeting Paul Graif, soon to be a victim of CBC-Radio budget cuts, as Montreal's most
beloved sportscaster.
(With the flood of ballots I arbitrarily disqualified, I feel
ready
for work as a scrutineer in the next referendum.)
Some impressions, then, based on your actual voting (see the full
results):
* You love the authoritative Mitch Melnick of CIQC, who won two categories, tied for first
in a third and was within a few kissed babies of carrying the vote in three more. And you
adore CFCF's Randy Tieman, one of broadcasting's true gentlemen, who left his colleagues
in the dust when it comes to enjoying his job.
* "(Melnick) always attacks the issues of the day and delivers the goods,'' wrote
Marvin Miller in his fax.
From Derrick Laplante: ``He seems willing to listen to another
point of view no matter how much he disagrees with you as long as you're willing to
explain why.''
On Tieman, the only broadcaster to earn votes in every category
except the dreaded No. 6. and No. 9:
"A great attitude, a good sense of humour and he doesn't
take life too seriously,'' wrote Earl Zukerman, McGill's sports information director.
"Despite all his health setbacks, he can still have fun and
smile. What an inspiration,'' marvelled Kahnawake's Mouchie Goodleaf.
" . . . having fun whether he's covering the Expos or
shopping for golf clubs,'' said Roman Haq of Brossard.
Also high on your lists was veteran Expos play-by-play man Dave
Van Horne, who most would like to hang out with for a night and who most feel best puts
sports in perspective.
"This guy has more class in his little finger than the
cumulative total of every athlete he has spoken to during his entire career ... with the
exception of the Right Honourable Felipe Alou,'' wrote George Smith of Dollard.
From Eric Hansen: "Dave fits like a glove or an old pair of
slippers . . . he ranks right up there with Vin Scully as the best
in his craft.''
But most of you really came to life in Question 6, when I asked
who would make you throw your radio or TV off a deserted island. I produced Ted Tevan's
Sports Rap at CFOX in the summer of 1975 and count Ted as a friend, so I trust he will
understand that, as he himself might tell his listeners, these machine guns are firing
only rubber bullets:
"I'd probably jump in with the radio,'' lamented St.
Laurent's
Donald Flam.
"Tevan's so out of date I imagine him wearing Herb Tarlek
suits,'' wrote Beaconsfield's Larry Weber, referring to the bombastic, polyester-clad
salesman on the 1970's sitcom WKRP in Cincinnati. "He's embarrassing, like the
black-sheep uncle you don't want at your wedding.''
However, even Terrible Ted,
who says he speaks ``the game of life,'' has his fans:
"He will talk about orange juice, boiled chicken sandwiches
and horses, but somehow it's all interesting,'' said Dominic Fazioli of Montreal.
"He's perfect for late night.''
My Roget's Thesaurus Award for Poison Penmanship goes to
Montreal's Michael Hamill, who scorched `` . . . the egregious and vapid . . .
apathetically intense Mr. Ron Reusch (of CFCF) and his coterie of misled sycophants.''
Ouch.
Hamill was in the minority here; most of you figured that Reusch
brings the best all-around knowledge of sports to the microphone.
As for who you'd like to hang out with for a night, a little way
down the list was a 10-vote dead-heat of CJAD's Ted Blackman, CBC-TV's Caroline Corey and
CIQC's Pat Caporali. You said you'd schmooze with the crusty Blackman for the terrific
yarns he might spin, and with Corey and Caporali because they're - how shall I put this? -
not men.
"I'm a guy. She's a girl,'' wrote Caporali fan Howard
Phillips of Montreal. "If I can only put a face to that sexy voice.''
Well, Catherine Campbell of Deux-Montagnes had her own idea. One
of many women to cast a ballot, she wants to hang with CFCF's Chris Seidens, and the last
word is hers: "He's charming and handsome. Sports isn't everything!''
